(Enter presidential bodyguards. They only talk with the
earphone headpieces)
Jill: Jen?
Jen: (enters) Yes Jill?
Jill: Is he coming?
Jen: He’ll be here
soon. He’s just eating his cheeseburger
in the agency dining hall.
Jill: and you’re not with him?
Jen: You know how much he likes to eat his cheeseburgers
in peace.
Jill: True (Jill waits for a while looking back and looking at their
watches)
Jill: How come he is taking so long?
Jen: He got the double double ok?
Jill: Even still, I mean shouldn’t we go back and check
to see if he’s ok?
Jen: Do you want to disturb him while he’s eating a
cheeseburger? (Silence, Jill get’s really impatient)
Jill: I’m going back to check back on him. It’s been 5
minutes.
Jen: Good luck. (Jill goes offstage. We hear mister then the smashing of
plates and growling (FX). Jill comes back onstage with her hair all messed up.)
Jill: He’s almost finished. (Jen shakes her head. The president enters.)
Mr. President: How many times have I told you two not to
disturb me when I’m eating an American cheeseburger?
Jen & Jill: 3 times including this time, Mr President.
Mr. President: That’s 3 times too many. Now as president
I have alot of responsibilities and priorities. My top priority is taking the
time and care to give love a double-double with cheese. My second priority is
to check out this new invention the agency is presenting to me. I suggest we
get going. (About to get going when Chief enters)
Chief: Ahh Mr President, so glad to have you here.
Mr President: It’s great to be here. Now we should
probably get a move on that presentation, I’m a man with little patience and
little time.
Chief: Yes Mr President, right away Mr President.
(Signals to Dexter,Dime, Blonde and Pepper. The T-2000 is under a cover) We’ll
do the presentation right here no problem. If you mind we’ll have to get your
body-guards out of the ro...
Jen: We’re not going anywhere (threatening)
Chief: Okay then well you two are staying, Dime I want
you to take notes and send the memo to the president straight after this.
Dime: Will do Chief
Chief: Alright Dexter let’s see what this thing’s got
Dexter: Sure thing Chief. If you could all just find
somewhere to stand or sit down it make my job a whole lot easier. Okay! Well
welcome, my name is Dexter and here at the agency we have created something
that will in the near future replace agents entirely. Without further adieu I
give you all the T-2000. (Takes off cover to reveal robot that looks like a
human)
Pepper: Is that a robot Dexter?
Dexter: A robot cyborg with computer intelligence set for
two modes. Patrol and Destroy.
Blonde: Don’t you think it would be risky to have a mode
set for only destroy.
Dexter: Times come when necessary sacrifices must be
made. He is the most advanced peice of
technology we have in the world and anybody behind the back of this guy will
never be harmed
T-2000: Come with me if you want to live
Dexter: There’s nothing else like him.
Mr President: Well I think I’ve seen enough. I want you
Dexter and your team to begin making these robot cybrorgs things. In the
meantime does anybody know where I can find the nearest burger king from here?
Jen: We’ll find you one sir
Jill: (To Chief and Dexter) Good day to you both. (Jen, Jill, and Mr. President Exit)
Dime: I should get going on the memo (She exits)
Blonde: This looks like to much power for one person to
control Dexter.
Pepper: In the wrong hands this could be a deadly weapon.
Chief: The big man’s word is final.
Blonde: But Chief this invention will surely bring more
harm than good.
Chief: I say enough Blonde. I don’t want you causing more
trouble than you already do. Now leave
before I get the deadly weapon to escort you back to agency main headquarters.
(Chief grumbles and then exits with Pepper)
Dexter: Well he’s in a knot.
Chief: Don’t worry about Blonde. What I want you to worry
about is producing the T-2000 and making it better.
Dexter: Maybe Blonde has a point Chief. I mean this isn’t
a tickle me Elmo. It’s an actual robot.
Chief: I said don’t worry about Blonde. Now get to work.
(Chief exits. Samuel enters with two coffees looking for
Chief and Blonde.)
Samuel: Chief!? Blonde!? Where did they go their coffees
are getting cold. Oh hey there Dexter.
Dexter: Oh hey Samuel. Chief just went that way and I
think Blonde just went in the opposite direction.
Samuel: Great at this rate I’ll never get to either of
them. (Looks at the T-2000) Who’s this and how is he so still?
Dexter: That is the T-2000. It’s a highly dangerous robot
cyborg.
Samuel: Oh really? (Goes up to touch it in the face)
Dexter: I wouldn’t do that if I were you. It has a very
complicated defense mechanism touching it would only make it worse. Wait...
(Silence)
Samuel: What?
Dexter: Thought I heard something. Here I’m going to go
out for a snack. You’d better give Chief his coffee... even if it is cold.
Samuel: You’re going to leave the T-2000?
Dexter: I’ll only be gone awhile. (Exits)
Samuel: Hmmm (Exits forgetting the coffee. Moments pass and
then Ninjas pop out of the desks where they were hiding the whole time. Have
them come out during the black out and crouch to be unrecognized. The ninjas
tip-toe to the T-2000 and try and sneak up on him but the T-2000 turns its head
to notice the ninjas and they stand there for a second.)
T-2000: I need a vacation. INTRUDER ALERT INTRUDER ALERT
INTRUDER ALERT (Ninjas grab him and then turn him off and then wait to
look around to see if anybody heard. They then press a button on his back to turn
him back on. The T-2000 follows them with his robotic movements. All of a
sudden Samuel Start comes back to retrieve the coffee.)
Samuel: Can’t believe I forgot the coff... What the?
(Everybody just stands still. Dr Sinister enters)
Dr Sinister: You know I was just going to wait in my
secret lair but I was just too curious what was in here at the agency. You know
it really is a... (notices Samuel Start) Why hello there.
Samuel: Hello Dr Sinister
Dr Sinister: Hello... I don’t really know your name...
sorry. But it’s always great to have fans.
Samuel: I’m no fan of you.
Dr Sinister: Well that’s a shame really. Not alot of fans
of Dr Sinister these days. Now If you excuse me I have to steal this... this...
(to ninjas) what is this!? (Ninjas shrug)
Samuel: That’s the T-2000
Dr Sinister: Well anyways I’m stealing and there isn’t a
whole lot you can do about it. I’m just standing here and you can’t do
anything. Point is nobody can stop me
right now. I quote M.C Hammer when I say that you can’t touch this. (Egoistic)
Chief: Where is that coffee I asked for!? (Looks at
Samuel, Ninjas, and Dr Sinister) What is happening right here?
Dr Sinister: Run! Just Run right now. (Ninja’s, T-2000,
and Dr Sinister run to the exit)
Chief: Get him! (Samuel runs to offstage. FX sounds like
fighting and then Samuel crawls back on all fours saying Ow. He lies down.) Oh
god. With the T-2000 stolen we face the biggest threat this world has ever
seen.
Samuel: Hey Chief, I’m pretty bruised up here do you mind
helping me?
Chief: God help us all.
(Black out)
End of Act 1
